This is Jacob, a.k.a. “Little Goat”.

Jacob is special. He is tiring. He is the best hugger and eskimo kisser that I’ve ever had the pleasure of butting noses with. He is fierce. He isn’t afraid of the dark or boogeymen, and he proves it by turning on the hallway lights when his older brother isn’t up to the task. His hugs are vice-grip like. Seriously. His fingers are always cold, and his nose is always running. Once committed to an idea, he pursues it with all his might. He constantly misuses the word “accidentally”: “I accidentally hit the baby”, “I accidentally ate that chocolate bunny”, “I accidentally peed all over the floor in the bathroom”. Oh, and did I mention that he also has buns of steel?

Jacob, more than any of the other kids, has caused me to really assess who I am as a mother. Through this Little Goat I am forced to come face to face with my own lack of patience and quickness to anger. Through Jacob I am learning more about my own sin nature, and I thank God that “though we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). I am chief among sinners, and no human (save Christ) has taught me this more than Jacob. Christ died for me even though I would rashly discipline this sweet child in anger? Christ died for even me, the woman who has thought terrible thoughts toward this precious boy? Yes, even me.

My God you are good! You are merciful, though I do not deserve your mercy! You give grace, though I deserve death! Praise be to God!