Case #10487, “The Missing Diamond Debacle”

Parties involved: Janeen M, hereafter referred to as LOSER

Kevin M, hereafter referred to as WITNESS

LOSER interview:

I received some diamond earrings from my husband for my birthday two months ago. They were great because they were sporty (studs), and I approved of the deal because he used a coupon. What a smart hubby, huh? I’m generally not a big jewelry girl, but these puppies were perfect. They were a total surprise.

WITNESS interview:

I worked hard to find a good gift for my wife this year, and I found a great deal on some diamond earrings. Boy was I glad when she was pleasantly surprised by the gift. I always try, ya know, but women sure can be tough to shop for.

The details of the case:

Sunday, March 1st, 2008

8:00 am – the LOSER puts on earrings, family heads to breakfast at worlds most popular fast food joint. Looking forward to artery clogging goodness. Family out the door on time on a Sunday, a rarity. Even rarer, no pre-church spousal argument. Shaping up to be a perfect day.

11:00 am – to friends house for lunch. LOSER later notes that both earrings must have still been in ears at this time, or super savvy best friend would have noticed.

1:00 pm – Kids exhibit melt down symptoms.

1:30 pm – back home, kids tucked in for nap, LOSER heads out for skiing date with super amazing friend and neighbor. LOSER totally forgets she’s still wearing said earrings.

5:00 pm – Outside for sledding time with the family and friends. Awesome. Stinkin’ awesome.

9:45 pm – LOSER takes out earrings for the night and notices that one is missing. Uh-oh. All out search ensues. WITNESS scours the driveway with a flashlight and is eyed by neighbor as a possible burglar.

10:30 pm – LOSER is ready to call it quits but determined WITNESS isn’t ready to call off the hunt. LOSER finds back of earring in couch. Shortly thereafter, investigation is delayed until morning. Heavenly father is consulted.

Monday, March 2nd, 2008

7:30 am – WITNESS returns to work, LOSER promises to search for earring and promptly forgets.

11:30 am – Looking for lost stacking block under the couch, LOSER notices a flash of metal in the carpet. Voila – earring! LOSER and brood praise God.

LOSER final interview:

Seriously, all that skiing and sledding and what not? That earring should have been long gone in a snowbank somewhere. Instead it turns up next to our couch. And even then, that I should actually find it? This type of thing makes me wonder exactly how God works in a situation like this. I know he played a part in it, but what exactly? Did he actually physically move the earring? Because that would be really cool. Or did he just put me in the right place to look for it? I think this will be one of those “I’ll have to ask him in person” questions. This interview is getting kind of long. Got any coffee? A donut perhaps?

WITNESS final interview:

How amazing is that, huh? Seriously, how amazing?